Tom from Australia asks:

How has the clicking sound from computer mice not driven the entire human race crazy by now?

Find Tom on Twitter and through his blog!

Also, isn’t that a pretty sweet mouse in the picture? Yes, it’s a mouse. Yes, it’s by BMW. Want one? You’re welcome.

Anyway, so my question is, what’s up with this weather? And is it unseasonably wrong where you are?

Jen from England asks:

if your a ladyboy and had the transformation.. And then get in a relationship with a man, is the man gay or straight?

This sure was a difficult question. If you have other difficult questions, make sure to asks us at jayvmail.com/ask!

Bruce from Pisa asks:

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges

My sincerest apologies for being a week late, guys. Editing took a while.

Greg from Washington, DC asks:

Who will win in this fight hulk Vs super man

Mike Habjan has already envisioned what a battle between Superman and the Incredible Hulk would look like. Check out all of his work on his YouTube channel.

Special surprise guest, pinball expert Netter Rox!

Call us at 412-540-5298 and leave us a question!

And check out both That’s Entertainment and the Kickstarter for Mike DeAngelo’s latest project, the Enemy Within!

Nikki from Canada asks:

So this is a question for Jay V Mail. This is Nikki from Canada. And here, when we drive and stop at a stop sign we fully stop. But apparently Americans slow down at a stop sign and go through the stop sign. So, I’m wondering if this is just a myth or if this is true, because here we call it the “American stop.” So can you clear that up for me, Jay? That’d be great. Thanks.

Visit Nikki and Everything and the Kitchen Sink at OnAirTunes.

Mr. J from Miami asks:

if a friend used your computer and left their facebook page up would you go through it?

So how about you, guys? How about you?

Jay V asks:

Where exactly did the whole idea of “bring a knife to a gun fight” come from? I mean, who’s stupid enough to bring a knife to a gun fight, anyway? Except for the Punisher in that one movie with the guy from “Thank You For Smoking,” cuz he brought a knife that SHOT ITS BLADE AT THE GUNNER to a knife fight, and he totally won.It was awesome.

And in case you wanna get caught up on these Punisher movies, here’s the one Jay is talking about.

Whitney from Houston, TX asks:

So if he’s their uncle Jesse and he’s Greek, and Danny is a brunette, where do the girls get their blonde hair?

And in case you’re wondering, here’s what happened to the actors after Full House.

And just because, here’s that hot hot Jodie Sweetin all grown up now!

Mike Birbiglia from New York tweets:

Why would I have kids when I could BUILD A ROBOT?

Apparently this is a popular episode, so since we haven’t had an episode in so long (SO LONG) I decided to put this one out for you all to listen to again.

Enjoy. And we will see you again next week – same time same place.

Rachel from South Carolina asks:

I got another one! Every night before I go to bed I brush my teeth and wash my face. Why do I have to do these again when I wake up even though I haven’t eaten anything or been seen outside with a dirty face? It seems silly to brush my teeth before I’ve eaten. Waz up wit dat? Thanks!

Guest post by That Entertains. tezone.net

Joel from Florida asks:

FROM: Joel @ Forgotten Flix
TO: Jay V
SUBJECT: Proposal…

Okay. Be honest. Based on the subject of this email you TOTALLY thought I was going to offer you 1 million dollars for a night with Brady, didn’t you?

Well, he said to be honest.

Uzoma from Texas asks:

if you order a pizza and they deliver the wrong order. Is it acceptable to eat the other pizza while you wait on yours??

Well actually, I have my answer and Brady has his. So, who do you agree with?

Maarten from the Netherlands asks:

What if rappers rapped about nice things? Like, “Girl I’ma take your clothes off and give them to the homeless person because he’s cold.”

And so now, about daily, I have to hear Maarten from the Netherlands all over the house.

Senia from Queens, NY asks:

#Question for the fellas . When yall cheat , WHY is it girls uglier than your girl ??

Not that we cheat or anything, but we answer what happens “when” we cheat.

Nate Wolfe from Manchester, PA asks:

What ever happened to ALF from the planet Melmac?

Rather certain Nate Wolfe called this one in, but we just can’t find the audio anymore. Oh well.

If you want your audio on the show, ask us a question by calling 412-540-5298.  We hope to hear from YOU specifically!!!

Rachel from South Carolina asks:

Why do things like cars and washing machines and computers make so much noise?

Brady from Bensalem wants to know:

Does Santa Exist?

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Rachel from South Carolina asks:

Compared to 5, 10, or 20 years ago, are you where you thought you’d be in life? What do you want to be when you grow up?

Since we only had two people answering the question, we only had enough to cover 5 years ago and 20 years ago. But rest assured, Rachel, for we do have an answer for you. Also, we want to know about you. How would you answer the same question?

Twauna from Ft. Lauterdale asks:

Follow-up to Rachel’s question: What do you call the feeling before you sneeze? (not thirst or hunger but…????)

Previously on Jay V Mail, Rachel asked a question about why we get hungry and/or thirsty. Today we get  a follow-up question.

Charlotte from SE London asks:

WILL ONE OF YOU AMERICANS, EXPLAIN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SOUP AND CHOWDER FFS.

And then Jay teaches Brady what FFS stands for.

Jay V from Jay V Mail asks:

Who ever expects the Spanish Inquisition?

Certainly, Jay V didn’t expect his own question!

(image credit)

Nate Wolfe from Manchester, Pennsylvania asks:

 and why do people on face book have full blown conversations on someone elses post just message them

It’s a valid question. Find out what Jay V and Brady have to say, right here! At Jay V Mail!

Rachel from South Carolina asks:

My friend Heather and I want to know how T-Rex was the most feared dinosaur when he can neither reach, nor grab, nor bring to his mouth anything that he might prey on? And how do the paleontologists know the colors and textures of dinosaurs when all they find is fossils and bones?

Vicious, vicious dinosaurs!!! With feathers!

Rachel from South Carolina asks:

Why do we get hungry and/or thirsty?

Rachel is one of our favorite questions askers! Thank you very much, Rachel!

To submit your question for approval and answering, call us! 412-540-5298!

A huge hurricane has ravaged the East Coast of the United States. It’s still going on, currently fixing to touch down on the Jersey Shore (good riddance, Snooki!). In honor of upcoming Stormageddon, we revisit a previous question as submitted by Amber from England.

A long time ago, Amber asked: 

Why are storms always called after females? (No sexists remarks please). In American Spainish is the J pronounced as a H like Spain?

Do you live along the coast? Have you evacuated? Are you okay? Commiserate in the comment box below. And please be safe.

The girls who wear shirts that say, “hottie” are never actually hotties. Why do they wear them?

So? Why? Let’s find out today!

Tuwana from Fort Lauterdale asks:

I know magic isn’t real but sometimes it looks really real. How do people levitate?

Brady and I may disagree on the answers, but at least you know that’s how you get both sides of the story!

Can you see the wires?

Resident Star Wars expert and resident Cheesesteak expert Chris Scott of Vagary.TV is, for the third year in a row, doing a marathon. He is seeking donations from his family and friends to help the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. With his permission, I have posted his email in its entirety.

Click here to help resident Star Wars expert Chris Scott in his efforts to raise money for the best darn children’s hospital in Philadelphia.

So, I reckon S.H.I.E.L.D. are a bunch of really clever guys who know what they’re doing when it comes to living life and protecting the world and all that. So when Nick Fury says to go south, you don’t say there’s no navigation. You use the sky, like most of humanity had done before compasses.

But no, not this guy. Not at all. He must have missed that day in class. So, how does a guy like that make it into S.H.I.E.L.D.?

This is also why I love Samuel L. Jackson. No one else could have delivered that line. It was written for him.

Doktor Heisenberg from Breakfast with the Beak asks:

Hey Jay and Brady this is Doktor Heisenberg from the Breakfast with the Beak podcast calling you live from the middle of a rainstorm in Brooklyn. My question for you is, why do people hate walking in the rain so much? I mean I know we do, but why? What’s the big deal? You know, we take showers.

Well speak for yourself, Horatio. I don’t take showers.

My apologies for the sound quality. I promise Technical Difficulties is not trying to ruin us again, or anything.

Nate Wolfe from Manchester, PA asks:

I’se at work bein’ bored and lookin’ around the Innernet, and I just seen that the USA Men’s Basketball team is dominating the Olympics. My question is, has anyone other than the US ever won the basketball Olym—the gold medal in the basketball Olympics? And if so, was it even close?

The answers to the question are, yes, and in 1980 USA wasn’t even in the top three. But listen to the episode for a completely different insight to your question from Brady.

The folks who run Sweet Feathery Jesus the podcast invited me to guest on their show this past Friday. I originally thought they were just looking for an Asian replacement — previously they had a co-host named Hiccup — but whatever the excuse, I jumped at the chance. I’ve enjoyed listening to SFJ since at least episode #17, where they hated on “comedian” and “actor” Robin Williams.

Topics on Sweet Feathery Jesus #54.5 include:

• Pussy Riot’s 2-year jail sentence for singing a song against Vladimir Putin
• “Rule’s 2 Da Game of Hoez!!!”
• A kid buying booze with a fake ID
• Shia LeBeouf ‘s upcoming movie Nymphomaniac

The .5 episodes are not available directly at sweetfeatheryjesus.com. If you want to listen to it, you would either subscribe through iTunes or Stitcher. Download Stitcher to your mobile (if you haven’t yet) and then just search for “sweetfeatheryjesus“.

Rachel from South Carolina asks:

I was thinking about how when I used to put my ear on my boyfriend’s chest, I could hear his heartbeat, but if I put my ear to his ear I can’t hear what he’s thinking. Why is that?

But before any of that happens Brady talks about the upcoming In The Room Fan Conclave in a little more detail, in case you were wondering about it. Visit Brady’s site for more information, thebradyhicks.com.

Today, Nate Wolf from Manchester, PA asks:

where can people get a good “philly cheese steak:” when there in philly i was at luigi;s the other week went to terror behind the wall the sub was ok but i want a traditional double gut bomb philly cheese steak where do i go ?

Um… we do our best to understand Nate’s question and then answer it.

Thanks to special guest, resident cheesesteak expert Chris Scott of Vagary.TV, for assisting with today’s question.

If you have a question for Jay V Mail, don’t hesitate to ask us! 412-540-5298! Or email us at jayvmail.com/ask

Jason from Florida asks:

 If Han Solo was such a badass, why did he cry so much when he was thawed from the carbonite? And why doesn’t windows recognize carbonite as a correctly spelled word? And why am I even writing a question about Star Wars? Sorry. That was really three questions. Take your pick.

A special thank you to our resident Star Wars expert Chris Scott of Vagary.TV, for assisting with today’s question.

Visit Jason at Forgotten Flix to hear him and his cohost wax poetic about films you may not have heard about because it’s been a really long time.

Today’s episode is not sponsored by Carbonite. There’s no warning when you lose your files. That’s why you need Carbonite. It’s automatic, secure backup. It’s not carbon mixed with tibanna gas, compressed, and then flash-frozen into blocks for easy transport.

During Jay V Mail’s four-year hiatus, Jay V kept his question/answer skill fresh by visiting Yahoo! Answers and helping many hapless, troubled people. Let’s see what he had to say!

Dylan asks:

What is this saying from?

“Hi can I place an order for pick up?”
“Sure can I have a name please?”
“The Situation”
“Excuse me?”
“The Situation S-I-T-U-A-T-I-O-N”
“Alright, whatever man.”
What is that from?

Jay V answers:

It is from a horrible, HORRIBLE show on MTV where a bunch of silly Italian-Americans from New York come down to a beach in North Jersey and act like a bunch of idiots. The Situation is the nickname of a character on that show. There is another character on the show named Snookie. It begins like another word, snooker, which is a great description for how I feel after being forced to watch the show. Like somebody just stole that half hour from my life and I’ll never get it back.

* Selected as Best Answer

So if you are afraid of getting your questions answered by Jay V Mail, fear not. We clearly know what we’re doing!

(see the other answers to his question here)

Noah from DC asks:

So somebody runs somewhere and out come a superhero. Are people really that dumb?

Let’s find out how dumb people really are!

During Jay V Mail’s four-year hiatus, Jay V kept his question/answer skill fresh by visiting Yahoo! Answers and helping many hapless, troubled people. Let’s see what he had to say!

~takenbythebest~ asks:

How to get over fear of sleeping outside of the sheets.lol, i know..crazy? yes…?

Im 16 years old and I feel so crazy being afraid of the this…I have slept under the sheets, like my head and everything because when I was 7 there was this news story about this kid who got beheaded, and i was like, “what is beheaded mean?” my dad told me what it meant and ever since then i was afraid to sleep out of the sheets because im afraid that i’ll be beheaded. i know that its nearly impossible right now unless someone breaks in…and usually they shoot you now..very irrational..but anyway…how do i get over this fear, i sleep with no lights on but my sister usually has a light shining from her door. help me anyone??

Jay V answers: *

Try sleeping without sheets. Many ex-smokers say they quit “cold turkey” and ripping the blanket off your bed is the same thing. If you can’t handle that, you’ll have to train yourself not to sleep with the sheets completely enveloping you by slowly pulling the sheets down each night. Start by exposing just the top of your head (the hair part). Once you can comfortably sleep like that, pull it down so that your eyes and nose are now visible. Once that’s comfortable, pull the sheets down to your chin. And on and on until you have accomplished your goal.

You will need support from your family, also, so you may have to explain this to them. They may also have great advice on how to get over the fear. You will need a lot of positive reinforcement, so your little brother is ABSOLUTELY NOT ALLOWED TO SNEAK INTO YOUR ROOM WHILE YOU’RE SLEEPING AND SAY “BOO!” one night, or you’ll forever be doomed to sleep with the bed sheets covering you completely.

Something else to consider: in ancient times, dead people were completely covered in a sheet and then buried in the Catacombs.

* Selected as Best Answer

So if you are afraid of getting your questions answered by Jay V Mail, fear not. We clearly know what we’re doing!

(see the other answers to his question here)

Doktor Heisenberg from Breakfast with the Beak asks:

Hey Jay and Brady this is Doktor Heisenberg from the Breakfast with the Beak podcast calling you once again with questions inspired by running around during the day doing errands. I’m on the way to the grocery store now, and I wanna know why Ben & Jerry’s discontinued the Chubby Hubby flavor. It was awesome and my favorite and they don’t make it anymore. What the hell? And also, what should I try instead, coz I can’t get that anymore?

Ice cream not only tastes good, but is also good for you! What’s your favorite Ben & Jerry’s flavor? Leave a comment below!

During Jay V Mail’s four-year hiatus, Jay V kept his question/answer skill fresh by visiting Yahoo! Answers and helping many hapless, troubled people. Let’s see what he had to say!

seema b asks:

I would like to ask difference between the two sentences?
she will have been happily married by then?

and

she would be happily married by then?

Jay V answers: *

The first implies marriage definitely happening. While the second suggests that if the marriage would take place, she would be happily married at that point in the future, it does not imply that she really will be married.

* Selected as Best Answer

So if you are afraid of getting your questions answered by Jay V Mail, fear not. We clearly know what we’re doing!

(see the other answers to his question here)

Sam from Delaware asks:

Why aren’t the people in McDonald’s commercials fat, yo?

We love listener interaction. Interact with us. We are very interactive. Visit our Facebook, or our Twitter, or call us at 412-540-5298!

During Jay V Mail’s four-year hiatus, Jay V kept his question/answer skill fresh by visiting Yahoo! Answers and helping many hapless, troubled people. Let’s see what he had to say!

Cbc asks:

Whats the name of that two persons?
hello,read years ago and cant remember that two names of people, the story is make it short,
before a war, (mayber world war 1 or 2 or some other war) there were two workers who worked together to produce gold, and after the war took place, their books who were used to make pure gold were are burned down. and there is no significant evidence of their natural of their job. however, after their death, they examined their gold and they found its a pure gold, and they made around 600 kgs as can remember from the story, this story was published years ago in some scietific magazine, and that magazine is lost now!!!!!!!!!! can you remember their names?

Jay V answers: *

I think one’s name was Lewis, and the other’s was Clark.

* Selected as best answer

So if you are afraid of getting your questions answered by Jay V Mail, fear not. We clearly know what we’re doing!

(see the other answers to his question here)

Doktor Heisenberg asks:

Hey Jay and Brady this is Doktor Heisenberg from Breakfast with the Beak. Where do squirrels go when it rains? I see pigeons. No squirrels. Okay, bye.

We survive on listener interaction! Interact with us, at jayvmail.com! Or call 412-540-5298!

During Jay V Mail’s four-year hiatus, Jay V kept his question/answer skill fresh by visiting Yahoo! Answers and helping many hapless, troubled people. Let’s see what he had to say!

huy van asks:

*Infatuation* Any Tips?

I keep thinking about that person, she’s always on my mind, every moment, all the time. I know I’ll never meet, I saw her in a film, she’s an actor.

I know this feelings will last in, this week, this month, this year ? or maybe never…
I’ve had this feelings many times.. it will always gets over, and starts again. But I hate the beginning of it, which is now.

*I wish, I didn’t saw this film, never saw her*.. from now, with this feelings on me…..oh maan!

*ANY TIPS* ? =P..

Jay V answers:

The best advice you can read on this topic may come from people trying to be funny, as a sarcastic or snide remark. “Get a girlfriend.”

But take this advice seriously. Find a girl you can meet and connect with IRL and forget about the fantasy woman onscreen. The characters they play are rarely like the real actors. Take, for example, Mel Gibson. There was this one film where he was a loving father and husband at some point before an alien invasion took over Bucks County, Pennsylvania. And in real life, he has been described as an antisemitic misogynist. Do you think Christian Bale is an American psycho or a reluctant hero? Wrong again; he is just another guy with a bad temper who is trying to make a living.

This girl in a film — she may be nice to look at, but she might have toes that look like thumbs, or be a catty, snide person with very little in the way of intelligence.

Find a nice girl in your own town, date her, and love her. You’ll forget about that other person you saw in a film.

Also, check out the section on prepositions, tense, and pluralization at this site: http://www.englishgrammarsecrets.com/

So if you are afraid of getting your questions answered by Jay V Mail, fear not. We clearly know what we’re doing!

(see the other answers to his question here)

Rachel from Charleston asks:

You guys must know a lot of stuff to be able to answer questions about so many different things. How did you both get to be so smart? Any tips on how the rest of us can be smart too?

oidfgjdiofang

During Jay V Mail’s four-year hiatus, Jay V kept his question/answer skill fresh by visiting Yahoo! Answers and helping many hapless, troubled people. Let’s see what he had to say!

Katie asks:

Personal question. Ladies only!?

I have been gettin the depo shot for 10 years and have not had a period since then. Can this be harmful? Also, I have not had a period for so long that I’m scared to get off of the depo shot in fear that my first period will be very painful. Has anyone experienced this? Will I be in a lot of pain?

Jay V answers:

It would be more helpful to post the actual question in the “What would you like to ask” box, and use the detail box to go into detail. To answer the question that is the subject of this post, no, this is not a ladies only question. Anyone who has experience with the depo shot (such as recipient, administrator, or any doctor) can answer this question.

To answer the detail portion of your question, it is not harmful to not have had your period for 10 years and to start having them again. It may be a little bit more than you were used to, but then again it’s been 10 years anyway, so you may only perceive it to be more than before.

If you have any questions, the best person to ask about this is your doctor. While other Yahoo users may be able to provide their personal experiences, they do not know you, nor do they know your body. Your doctor does and can best answer your question.

So if you are afraid of getting your questions answered by Jay V Mail, fear not. We clearly know what we’re doing!

(see the other answers to his question here)

Eric from Canada asks:

Why can’t witches have babies?

Have you got a question for Jay V Mail? We subsist on listener interaction! Give us a call at 412-540-5298, or just email questions@jayvmail.com!

During Jay V Mail’s four-year hiatus, Jay V kept his question/answer skill fresh by visiting Yahoo! Answers and helping many hapless, troubled people. Let’s see what he had to say!

luvinlola asks:

should i cheat or join a group?

Ive been married 26 years and 6 years ago my husband just quit having anything to do with me. I believe he is cheating but it’s at the point where i really don’t care.question should i cheat or what! i need some kinda love and he cant afford a divorce.Is ther any kind of groups for women like me?

Jay V answers:

Consider joining the unsatisfied married women group on Facebook. I kid you not, it exists!

Chosen as best answer

So if you are afraid of getting your questions answered by Jay V Mail, fear not. We clearly know what we’re doing!

(see the other answers to her question here)

Doktor Heisenberg asks:

Hey Jay and Brady this is Doktor Heisenberg from Breakfast with the Beak. What is up with three-dollar ATM fees? Money costs too much money. Okay.

Just be glad you’re not this guy, Dok.

Also, apparently Disney theme parks have something in common with strip clubs.

During Jay V Mail’s four-year hiatus, Jay V kept his question/answer skill fresh by visiting Yahoo! Answers and helping many hapless, troubled people. Let’s see what he had to say!

Sir Bartholomew asks:

Lots of kids are named after Months and days. So would it be ok to name my baby “Three-Forty-Two”?

Everyone has kids named after months, days, eg. April, Wednesday, June..etc….

I want my baby to have a unique name, so I am thinking about naming her after the exact time she was born, “Three-Forty-Two”. My wife wanted to include the second, but I thought that would sound tacky and it would make the name too long. What do you think?

Three-Forty-Two vs. Three-Forty-Two-and-Seventeen-seconds??

Jay V answers:

What’s your last name? If your last name is Blunt (oh, I love that one James Blunt song, don’t you?) consider naming the child Four Twenty Blunt.

Anyway, if you are honestly considering naming your child a number, don’t give the child such a long number. Three or Fourteen is good enough. Even then, I would avoid numbers as names because that’s just tackier than naming someone Ward Timothy Blunt, II.

Actually, I amend my entire answer. If your last name is Blunt, just name the kid Four Twenty Blunt. If your last name isn’t Blunt, consider something fancy like Ward Timothy. or Jacqueline Dorotea.

Chosen as best answer

So if you are afraid of getting your questions answered by Jay V Mail, fear not. We clearly know what we’re doing!

(see the other answers to his question here)

Brady from Bensalem asks:

Is it better to go to a bar that serves good food and good drinks, or one that will have a lot of young people that you could talk to?

That’s a great question. And, once again, it revolves around food. [Note from Brady: It usually does.]

During Jay V Mail’s four-year hiatus, Jay V kept his question/answer skill fresh by visiting Yahoo! Answers and helping many hapless, troubled people. Let’s see what he had to say!

Chloe asks:

Do you think I hurt this guys feelings by going on about this (see details)?

I’ve been seeing this guy for a few weeks and he’s a few years older than me. I’m 35 and he’s 38. One of my favorite pastimes is watching movies and I like to talk about them. I was shocked to learn of all the movies that he hasn’t seen. He hasn’t seen The Breakfast Club, Caddyshack, ET, and a bunch of other movies and I was just shocked. Even someone that hasn’t seen many movies that’s almost 40 should have seen “Caddyshack”! I kinda ragged on him about it and was like “You have been deprived!” and I just kinda went on and on about this. It seems kinda stupid but I think I hurt his feelings a bit or made him think I think he’s not “cool”. I didn’t mean that. On the otherhand, I don’t think I can date someone that’s never even seen “Caddyshack”! Just kidding. I told him that I’m going to make him a list of movies that he has to rent and watch to catch up but I wasn’t serious. Anyways, should I apologize? I was also drinking so I was a bit drunk so I think I was a bit harsh! Oh, and he’s never seen a movie with Adam Sandler or Chris Farley! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

Jay V answers:

I’m about ready to tell you to just drop him. How could he not have seen Tommy Boy?!

But, I think something of an apology is in order. Not because he hasn’t seen all those movies, but because you had hurt his feelings. (I’m assuming you are correct that you did hurt his feelings.)

Don’t make a list of movies he has to rent. Rent them with him! Date-DVD night!!! Or… Date-DVD weekend! Or WEEK! However long it takes. Start off with Caddyshack. And please for the love of god put Happy Gilmore as #2!

or is it Billy Madison I’m thinking of?

So if you are afraid of getting your questions answered by Jay V Mail, fear not. We clearly know what we’re doing!

(see the other answers to his question here)

Mike from East Philly asks:

I was watching Bloodsport and I wonder if the Dim Mak (a.k.a. Deathtouch) actually exists. I know if you hit a person hard in the temple, he can die instantly. But I don’t think that’s the real Death Touch, that’s more of a Death Blow.

So do you think there is a way to kill a man by touch? Or is it a skill from ancient Japanese karate (pronounced karatay) that has been lost.

We can’t really answer this because we are not of the Tanaka Clan. But we at least take a good stab at it.

During Jay V Mail’s four-year hiatus, Jay V kept his question/answer skill fresh by visiting Yahoo! Answers and helping many hapless, troubled people. Let’s see what he had to say!

Breathless389 asks:

How should I deal with this obsessed person?
I am generally a nice outgoing person who makes friends easily. This year I made friends with a girl who sits next to me in my Japanese class she seemed normal at first but now she is very creepy. She tells me about how she used to be suicidal then looks at me with a strange face and says “My life would be meaningless without you in it.” I really don’t even like the person. I don’t want her to kill herself because i don’t like her, but i don’t want to be pressured into hanging out with her. how can i break this to her without causing a big scene?

Jay V answers: *

There’s no easy way to. You’ll just have to tell her that you can’t hang out with her anymore or whatever, and then tell someone that you think she might commit suicide. Really, it’s the only way. Believe me, if you just start ignoring her, she’ll feel worse off because not only has she lost a friend but think you hate her or something, and then after bugging the hell out of you and calling and texting you for days and weeks with no response, she’ll just flip and chase you down at the mall when you’re with your friends at Heritage 1981, cause a scene, nearly poke your eye out with a clothes hanger, get thrown out of the mall (and you too, simply because you were part of the riot), and then she’s going to sneak away to her uncle’s house, find his gun, and try to blow her brains out. But the way she pulls the trigger or whatever, or just general placement, you don’t know — though you’ve been running it through your head for months and months since it happened — she misses her brain completely and shoots her entire jaw off.

In the end, you feel guilty that you didn’t handle the situation better and nearly — by your inaction — caused someone to end their life. You’re always wondering what you could have done differently. Maybe tell someone about her suicidal tendencies, or crazy stark-raving obsessiveness. Or whatever your case may be. And since she lives on the way home, you get to see her half-face glaring at you from her window every goddamn single day, no matter how early or late you leave school. It gets so creepy that you have to find a new way home, and hope to God she doesn’t start stalking you on that route.

Or, whatever your case may be.

* Voted best answer

So if you are afraid of getting your questions answered by Jay V Mail, fear not. We clearly know what we’re doing!

(see the other answers to his question here)

Rachel from Charleston, SC asks:

I just remembered I got a question! In the USA when we get hungry we think about what kind of food we want to eat. Mexician, Chinese, Italian, Korean, etc. In China do they say, “I think I want Chinese tonight.” or something?

Suddenly wanting African food. How about you guys?

Ask us a question on Twitter. Send a tweet to @jayvmail!

During Jay V Mail’s four-year hiatus, Jay V kept his question/answer skill fresh by visiting Yahoo! Answers and helping many hapless, troubled people. Let’s see what he had to say!

Lizzie asks:

How do I deal with this…?

I’m 13, and my boyfriend is 16. He hasnt been able to get a job in town… his dad passed awaay a few weeks ago and hes been outa town like 3 weeks. since his mom really doesnt care for him, his brother took charge. he lectured him out about his life for about 2 hours…. yesterday he told me he is coming back in a week, but I’ll only c him for that weekend, then he’s moving away to start his life.he said i won’t see him for a couple years after that. his brother won’t let him do otherwise. I no I should be glad that he’s going to do something with his life…. i no its selfish to want to keep him from doing something to stay with me…. but idk what to do, it just hurts so bad…. he was my best friend to, one of those friends you’re lucky to find. the perfect friend who’s always trustworthy, encourages you to try, keeps you out of doing things that hurt yourself, one you could tell the world to…..

Jay V answers:*

Well, good for him.

* Rated Best Answer

So if you are afraid of getting your questions answered by Jay V Mail, fear not. We clearly know what we’re doing!

(see the other answers to his question here)

Rachel from SC asks:

Why is the trunk on an elephant in the front, but on a car the trunk is in the back? Why do we sleep in a bed in our bedroom, but the bed in the back of a truck is for our junk? Why doesn’t a truck have trunk? YYY? Huh?

Did you know that in England, it’s not called a trunk, but a boot? True story! Listen in for a very informative discussion!

Send us a question if you got one. Go to facebook.com/jayvmail, click the Like button, and send us a message.  Or just call us at 412-540-5298!

Amber London asks:

Who says guys aren’t into weddings?

Special guest Nicholas, shouting in from the kitchen. Also, Brady committing inhumane acts. TUNE IN!

To ask us a question, call 412-540-5298 or go to jayvmail.com/ask

(image credit)

I, from Bristol, PA ask:

Today, JAY V MAIL ASKS THE QUESTIONS!! Do you think it’s wise to get a hybrid car now, or wait until the Tesla is affordable? Basically, I’m looking for your permission to just buy a hybrid car, at much cheaper than $60k.

Jay V Mail asked on Twitter and Breakfast with the Beak answered, but this was a question for Jay V Mail to answer. I mean, really. Mostly because BwtB didn’t do a great job answering it. EAT THAT, BwtB!

(image by Sakimichan)

Doktor Heisenberg from Brooklyn, NY asks:

Why do Windows service upgrades always cause new function errors?

We answer this question today, with the help of our resident technology expert, Mike of Restart the User.

What is a set of turkey shower curtains?

The answer, today, on Jay V Mail!

Rachel from Charleston asks:

Hi, Sometimes I send your questions to facebook because I happen to be logged in there. Do you like email better or does it matter?

I have a question about commercials on tv and ads in magazines. Sometimes photographers take pictures of people fully clothed underwater. Why do the people look dry while they are underwater, but when they come out, their hair and clothes look all clingy and yucky and bad. Thanks guys, I wish I had all the answers you have!

Special guest, Mike from Philly. He brought us Jim Beam. And I was assured it was Jim Beam.

Special event, Jay’s birthday. Either tweet Jay happy birthday, or write it on our Facebook wall! I mean Timeline. Whatever. I miss walls.

(cover image by Yu Diving)

According to Google Voice, Johnny Goodtimes and Doktor Heisenberg of Breakfast with the Beak ask:

Hey Jay. This is a and Eisenberg, cos yeah we got your topic for Give me a chance for like $200. And then I’m going to. Yeah Yeah, We do our community chest card, and if you come in yet. Where’s our money. Yeah yeah. Please leave me. Hey, I’ve read in the and probably in around Yeah it was that there was a banker in our favor. According to you, yeah, yeah. I don’t know that they own. Yeah what’s up. Jay V Yeah, it was already I was going on yet but going on with you man, yeah You, well yeah all. Another question for Jay. V. Mail what the is up with all those monopoly. You Know. Now that you need to see if there is a yeah, i mean, just in general. It is my resume. I don’t know. But I’m asking for you to Jay V okay bye okay. Alright, if ha ha ha.

While Google Voice a fairly accurate transcription, I still didn’t understand what they were asking.

Update: A more accurate transcription of the voicemail appears below.

Doktor Heisenberg: Hey Jay.
Johnny Goodtimes: This is, uh, Johnny Goodtimes,
DH: and Doktor Heisenberg,
JG: from Breakfast with the Beak.
DH: Yeah, hey. We got your topic for Community Chest, “Collect $200.”
JG: And uh, we’re looking to collect.
DH: Yeah, yeah. Where’s our two hundred dollars, Jay? We drew our Community Chest card.
JG: That’s our question for you,
DH: that you submitted. Yeah. Where’s our money?
JG: Yeah.
DH: Yeah.
JG: We…. we…. We have a vague idea of where you live, and probably can ask around.
DH: Yeah, there was a … there was a bank error in our favour, according to you.
JG: Yeah.
DH: Yeah. So, uh ….
JG: So, uh …. So go to the bank which you apparently own.
DH: Yeah, what’s up, Jay V? Hey, what’s up Brady? How’s it goin’, man?
JG: Yeah, hey.
DH: Yeah. What’s up?
JG: No problem with you, man. You didn’t … you didn’t promise us money.
DH: Oh, yeah. Also, here’s another question for Jay V Mail. What the fuck is up with all those Monopolies, you know?
JG: No, wait, you mean like different variations of Monopoly?
DH: Yeah, I mean just in general.
JG: That’s a good question. Why are there so many?
DH: I don’t know! That’s Alright, so that’s two for you, Jay V!
JG: Fuck, let’s do that one on our show.
DH: Oh yeah, okay.
JG: Okay.
DH: Alright. Alright, bye.
JG: Bye.

This is the crossover episode between Jay V and the Beak, where Jay V apparently trolled Breakfast with the Beak’s season finale. Catch their version of this topic at thebeak.org!

Photo by Brady Hicks

Brady from Bensalem asks:

Aren’t all movies the same?

Haha. Like they’re all the same. Actually, we answer the question, “Why are all zombie movies the same?” And the answer is, well, you’ll see. Even though I don’t even know what the answer is after all of that.

Mike from Philly asks:

Would it be OK if I bought cheap whiskey and poured it into an empty Jim Beam bottle in my recycling bin.

Tune in to find out if it’s really okay.

Lyndsey from Liverpool asks:

Will a fox kill a sheep?

This was gonna be a quick answer. I don’t know what happened.

Twauna from Ford Lauderdale, FL asks:

Why does my dog spin around at about 4 rps before finally stopping to do her business. What exactly is going on there? (She’s a pekapoo if that helps)

Listen to the answer, today on Jay V Mail!

Allyn from the Philippines asks:

Why do guys like Ryan Gosling?

Are you a guy who likes Ryan Gosling? Leave a comment and tell us why you like him!

Nate Wolfe from Manchester, PA asks:

whats the difference between moon pies and earth made pies

I dunno about you, but I prefer Klondike Bars.

(photo credit)

Cat Marcy from Kathmandu asks:

OKAY. What else, aside from jumpers, can I use to stick under my top to pretend I’m pregnant?

Find out this, and more, today on Jay V Mail.

(photo credit)

Doktor Heisenberg from Breakfast with the Beak asks:

Is there a word for when you simultaneously feel ashamed about something but also want to brag about it?

So, you like breakfast? Enjoy with the Beak. Visit the official website for Breakfast with the Beak and enjoy their podcast just as much or more than ours! (or less. because, come on, we’re awesome.)

Nate Wolfe from Manchester, PA asks:

Is there an alien base on the dark side of the moon?

I promise we don’t talk about cars that turn into robots in this episode.

Editor’s Note: At one point, Jay V erroneously refers to a podcast called “Blue World.” The correct title is “Bluecast.”

Nate Wolfe from Manchester, PA asks:

Why do fat people love Diet Coke?

Hear the answer, only at jayvmail.com (or at one of the many other places we are syndicated), including Stitcher!

Editor’s Note: Brady erroneously refers to Diet Coke containing ‘Anafrin’ (sic) which gives you brain cancer. He actually means aspartame, the artificial sweetener in Diet Coke which people try to convince you is not linked to cancer.

This is usually what happens, right?

Image courtesy of Dave Jensen

Happy holidays, everyone. Hope you had a great Christmas. In honor of this festive secular holiday, where everyone gives presents to everyone else, and then six days later, gets completely drunk and bags pots and pans around the neighborhood, I wanted to know two things:

1. What did you get for Christmas? and 2. How are you planning to spend your New Years Eve?

Lisa from Coatbridge, Scotland asks:

Does frozen, dried and canned food go bad?

Follow Lisa on Twitter!

Jay V Mail will return in 2012 with an all new question.

Jay V Mail: We got questions. You got answers?

So here’s the question for today. It’s a bit of a heavy one, but I didn’t have a question for you for this week. I have one for next week, but it’s not next week yet, is it? Anyway, the question for this week.

News broke last night that the dictatorial leader of North Korea, Kim Jong Il, had died. I’m not much of a politics guy, or world news guy, but I’d love to get your take on it.

How do you think this will change North Korea? Do you think it’ll change at all?

Nate Wolfe from Manchester, PA asks:

 how come when u go to taco bell you grab enough taco sauce for a month

A favorite listener and multiple-time asker, Nate Wolfe has to go down in our books as one of the more prolific listeners, though there’s another fellow from our shady past who tended to ask much stranger questions. Mr. Wolfe, thank you very much, sir.

 Visit today’s sponsor: Forgotten Flix. They paid us a whole zero dollars! YOU CAN DO THE SAME THING! Just email javy@jayvmail.com for more information!

Jay V Mail: We got questions. You got answers?

So, last week, I had this dream where I was cooking clams for dinner, and apparently the clams were trying to eat me. Or something like that. I can’t quite remember. All I know is, I was going to be harmed by clams.

A few weeks ago I had this dream where my car was disabled, in some sort of gravel lot. The cops came to help us or something, and when I got out of the car, I stepped into this patch of gravel that was like quicksand. Everyone ignored me and I just stood there, silently sinking, waiting for someone to take notice of me. Some guy finally did. He wasn’t a cop. He was actually a total stranger. He grabbed my arm and hoisted me up. I was saved.

Sometimes I have really weird dreams, like where I had this super power where I could hover above the ground, like Jerry O’Connell in My Secret Identity. Or the one dream when I had long hair, except in this dream, I was being played by a woman.

Which leads me to my question for today. What kind of weird dreams do you have?

Photo by Bill Bumgarne

Amber from London asks:

Why do Tequila shots (when you don’t mix with other drinks) give you a huge mad buzz rather than make you really drunk?

And on a random note, what’s your favourite alcoholic drink?

JAY V MAIL IS NOW ON STITCHER! Download the Stitcher App by visiting Stitcher.com on your mobile device!

So, a friend of mine doesn’t like downloading the show to her phone. So, for her, I put Jay V Mail on Stitcher. All you have to do is download the app on your mobile device (go to Stitcher.com) and then you can stream Jay V Mail directly to your phone every weekday!

Stitcher is cool because it’s not just for Jay V Mail. With Stitcher’s free mobile app, you can listen to your favourite radio programs and podcasts anytime and anywhere you want.

Stitcher’s wide breadth of programming lets you choose from the latest In news, sports, talk, business, entertainment  from the media industry’s premier content providers.
It’s the easiest way to stay connect to your world while on-the-go.

If you’ve already subscribed to Jay V Mail on iTunes and you like keeping the episodes on your iPod, then stick with iTunes. But if you don’t have an iPod or iPhone and can’t use iTunes, here’s a wonderful and easy alternative.

(photo courtesy of Fauxlord)

Photo by Kim Scarborough

Jay V Mail: We got questions. You got answers?

Hey, all you Philadelphia-area people. Are you like me, and whenever you’re out and about in the world, do you look at “cheesesteaks” or “Philly cheese steak sandwiches” and grimace? I mean, I’ve been to Chicago (where this sandwich is from), but I missed out on this image until just recently. It’s kind of making me want to go to Chicago to get one of these.  Also, it’s making me want a cheesesteak for lunch. That’ll be fun, eating a greasy, meaty sandwich on a torpedo roll while wearing a suit.

Anyway, the questions I have for you today, on this fine Monday.

1. For Philly peeps, Do you eat cheesesteaks when you go to foreign states or countries? What’s your best and/or worst experience?
2. For the foreigners, have you had a cheesesteak in Philly? And if so, do you eat them in your home area? Are they not as good since you’ve had the real thing?
3. If you don’t know what a cheesesteak is, will you please just go and eat one today???? You will not be disappointed. I promise.

I know, it’s a behind the scenes thing. And honestly, do you care? Who cares if you care! It’s like all new! But not really.

Basically, PodPress is what I’ve been using for years on this wonderful site, and with all the other podcasts I do. But recently, I decided to make the transition to PowerPress. It’s run by Blubrry, the same community you hear about at the end of every single episode of Jay V Mail. Billions of other podcasts are part of the community, and if there’s a show you like to listen to, you can find other great shows like it right over there!

Hope you’re all doing well and have a great weekend. Things are being a little shooken up over the weekend while we do the transition.

peace

love

understanding

Layla from London asks:

If there is life on other planets will there be Aliens in heaven?

Who believes in aliens, anyway? Do you? Leave a comment below. Also, if you can do an impression of Morgan Freeman, please call me for narration opportunities.

Follow us on Twitter: @jayvmail

Can I ask a random question?

Why do cheez-its have holes in the center?

Visit Julie’s podcast Citation Needed. Not at all Safe for Work.

Special guest appearance by Rachel Nicols. But not really. Ask us a question at questions@jayvmail.com. Or, call us at 412-540-5298.

Hey Jay, this is Brady from Bensalem, PA. Father. I wanted to know, if you could revoke any sport from actually being a sport anymore and you’d have to just call it a hobby or something, what would that sport be and why? I guess we can ask Brady as well.

Find Brady at thebradyhicks.com! And find out the answer to his question on today’s Jay V Mail!

Wanna learn how to bet on real sports and win? Grab a book from Amazon.

Sam from Upstate New York asks:

Hi this is Sam from upstate New York, and I was wondering what’s the big deal about Halloween anyway. I never really got into it. Thanks.

Find out the answer right here. Remember, the new places for questions are questions@jayvmail.com and 412-540-JAYV.

And of course, a new episode on Wednesday. Stay with us.

 If you could have a super power, what would it be?

Find out what we have to say today! And submit your questions at 412-540-5298!

While you’re at it, check out this neat little book about Superheroes, and what’s behind their motivations. It’s called Superheroes: The Best of Philosophy and Pop Culture, and right now the Kindle version is totally free.

If you need the Kindle app: Windows | Android | iOS

Anyway, stay tuned for more episodes. And if you think we’re not doing a show because no one’s asking questions, then how about YOU ASK A QUESTION for us!

Send your questions, as usual, to 412-540-5298, or go to jayvmail.com/ask to post the question.

Love,

Jay V

P.S. I was gonna say we were experiencing technical difficulties (which is actually true) but I didn’t want you to think the old robotic voice was coming back. Sadly, he died with the old hardware.

The other day my mom was watching a tennis match, and it was raining so the game was stopped. I asked her, “So they’re postponing the game?” and she tried correcting me, saying, “No, it’s a delay.” Don’t these words mean the same thing? We got into a big fight about it and I only know you, Jay V, can help us settle this.

And where else can you get the answer only after seven minutes of useless argument? Call us at 412-540-5298 to hear us argue over the answer to your question!

Why are storms always called after females? (No sexists remarks please). In American Spainish is the J pronounced as a H like Spain?

Listen to our two-question extravaganza, and expect more in the future of the new Jay V Mail!

Follow us on Twitter: @jayvmail
And if you have a question, call us at 412-540-JAYV!

why is it when you vouch for someone to get a job where you work & they never seem to work out in the end and quit?

Jay V and Brady attempt to answer this important question, today at Jay V Mail.

You got questions? We got answers. Visit http://jayvmail.com/ask to ask us a question. Or call 412-540-JAYV (5298) to ask your question.

The Sweet Feathery Jesus dot com Podcast (Booze, Belasco, and Dr. P) ask:

What is the difference between:

1. a dwarf
2. a midget
3. and just a bit of a short ass

Plus, Liv Tyler. *rawr*

Why would I have kids when I could BUILD A ROBOT?

Find Mike Birbiglia at birbigs.com, and follow him at @birbigs on Twitter.

Ask us a question:

Call 412-540-jayv (5298) or go to www.jayvmail.com/ask

What are three entrees that are not improved by the addition of bacon.

Tune in to find out. I’m gonna go grab some breakfast.

So, when you dry yourself the towel gets wet. But how does it get dry again for next time you take a shower?

Find out by tuning in to Jay V Mail!

Why do you prefer Pepsi when Diet Coke is OBVIOULSY (sic) the best caffeinated fizzy beverage